How Bad is The Economy? The Economy is so bad. . . .

Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally.... I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

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Still Texting While Driving?

I understand this is apparently for ages 18 and over, BUT, teens may not reach reach that age without watching this. Please watch this WITH your teens--it really hits home and may just save lives.

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A Real Man's Letter to a Helpline

"Hey Mate, really need your advice for a serious problem.

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating.
The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up, going out with the girls a lot.
I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse,
then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on... It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... a "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket... Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace it?"

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Dial My Number?

For us old timers!

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Is It Fair?

I was a bit taken back recently when I, for the first (okay, maybe second) time, was made to feel insignificant as a woman, or should I say, “being a woman.” My hubby and I needed a bid on a new asphalt driveway. I found a reputable company and turned the number and information over to my spouse to handle the bid and set up. He is a great guy but does not handle much of the “house” business; he prefers golf—I understand, we’re retired. But I thought it was time he took charge of some things himself and help me out; so the call was made. After 2 weeks of waiting for a bid, I called the contractor myself to see what was the hold-up as we had a short window of opportunity to get this job done. He was not there when I phoned, so I left him a message to call me back. When he did, we weren’t home. But the message he sent was clearly for Craig and not me. Then the bid came by e-mail—again, for Craig of course. I replied to the e-mail bid with a question and he responded again to Craig. “Hello Craig,” instead of myself. Through all the e-mail transmissions I signed the mail from Carol; he addressed the response to Craig. Am I here? Do I exist? Is this the end of the unfairness? No. Read on.

So as I stated above, I handle most all of the house business. I pay all the bills (we earn the same), I set up our insurances, balance the checkbook, etc. My ol man and I have a deal which he prefers, as long as he can use his ATM for anything he wants or needs he’s happy; I handle the rest. I make the investments that keep up afloat; I even pay the kids tuitions. The hubby rarely has a need to even write a check. Frankly, I doubt he knows where or how much money we have. When I met him he had numerous bills and was regularly late on payments. Since we married nine years ago, those are all paid off and I have successfully showed him how to live well, debt-free. So, where’s the unfairness in all this? We had our credit checked this week. His credit was over 800! I thought that was awesome and assumed because I am the one who handles the money, mine should be better, right? Wrong. Because I am a woman, and ONLY because I am a woman, my credit score was lower. Fair?

Will we ever reach a point where woman is truly equal to man? To this day, a woman with the exact education, GPA, and experience WILL make less money than a man. My only wish is that someday there is equality not only between men and women, but with all of mankind. As always, your comments are welcome.

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Rolling Clouds

After 3 days of warm sunshine, while driving back to Coos Bay from the 5 fwy in Roseburg, this was scary! But lucky for us, it cleared up before we hit the coast.

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God and Evolution

I read this on my friends Blog and LOVED it! So I wanted to share it with my readers as well.

"Let me explain the problem science has with religion."
The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class
and then asks one of his new students to stand.

"You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"

"Yes sir," the student says.

"So you believe in God?"

"Absolutely."

"Is God good?"

"Sure! God's good."

"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"

"Yes."

"Are you good or evil?"

"The Bible says I'm evil."

The professor grins knowingly. "Aha! The Bible!" He considers for a moment.
"Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here
and you can cure him. You can do it.
Would you help him? Would you try?"

"Yes sir, I would."

"So you're good...!"

"I wouldn't say that."
"But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could.
Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't."

The student does not answer, so the professor continues.

"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer,
even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good?
Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"

The student remains silent.

"No, you can't, can you?" the professor says. He takes a sip of water
from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

"Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"

"Er..yes," the student says.

"Is Satan good?"

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. "No."

"Then where does Satan come from?"

The student falters. "From God."

"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?
Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world? "

"Yes, sir."

"Evil's everywhere, isn't it"
And God did make everything correct?"

"Yes."

"So who created evil?" The professor continued,
"If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists,
and according to the principle that our works define who we are,
then God is evil."
Again, the student has no answer.

"Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?
All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?"

The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."

"So who created them?"

The student does not answer again,
so the professor repeats his question.
"Who created them?"

There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace
in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

"Tell me," he continues onto another student.
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"

The student's voice betrays him and cracks.
"Yes, professor, I do."

The old man stops pacing. "Science says you have five senses
you use to identify and observe the world around you.
Have you ever seen Jesus?"

"No sir. I've never seen Him.'

"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"

"No, sir, I have not."

"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelled your Jesus?
Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ,
or God for that matter?"
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Yet you still believe in him?"

"Yes."

"According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol,
science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?"

"Nothing," the student replies. "I only have my faith."

"Yes, faith," the professor repeats.
"And that is the problem science has with God.
There is no evidence, only faith."

The student stands quietly for a moment,
before asking a question of his own.
"Professor, is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes."

"And is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No sir, there isn't."

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested.

The room suddenly becomes very quiet.

The student begins to explain, "You can have lots of heat, even more heat,
super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat,
but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero,
which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go
colder than the lowest -458 degrees. Everybody or object is susceptible
to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body
or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat.
You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat.
We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy.
Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."

Silence across the room.
A pen drops somewhere in the classroom,
sounding like a hammer.

"What about darkness, professor.
Is there such a thing as darkness?"

"Yes," the professor replies without hesitation.
"What is night if it isn't darkness?"

"You're wrong again, sir.

Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something.
You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light,
but if you have no light constantly
you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?
That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, darkness isn't.
If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?"

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him.
This will be a good semester.
"So what point are you making, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with,
and so your conclusion must also be flawed."

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time.
"Flawed? Can you explain how?"

"You are working on the premise of duality," the student explains.
"You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God.
You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, science can't even explain a thought.
It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen,
much less fully understood either one.
To view death as the opposite of life is t o be ignorant of the fact that
death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

"Now tell me, professor.
Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man,
yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes
where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

"Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work
and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor,
are you not teaching your opinion, sir?
Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent
until the commotion has subsided.

"To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student,
let me give you an example of what I mean." The student looks around the room.
"Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?"

The class breaks out into laughter.

"Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain,
felt the professor's brain, touched or smelled the professor's brain?
No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of
empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol,science says that you have no brain,
with all due respect, sir. So if science says you have no brain,
how can we trust your lectures, sir?"

Now the room is silent.
The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers.
"I guess you'll have to take them on faith."

"Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,"
the student continues. "Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?"

Now uncertain, the professor responds, "Of course, there is. We see it every day.
It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man.
It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world.
These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir,
or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God.
It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created
to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil.
Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have
God's love present in his heart.
It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat
or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

The student was Albert Einstein.

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Still Trying to Get Money from Me – Has This Become the Norm?

I’m wondering if business schools have recently added a class called “How to Rake Your Customer?” It seems nearly imposible to find a completely honest and upfront entity to do business with. As with my previous post “Desperate Measures Online" (scroll down 3), this one addresses a similar situation I recently had with my C.P.A. We’ve been using his services for tax preparation for many years now. I drive 1 ½ hour to get my taxes done because I thought he was a pretty good tax man—expensive, but good and he had been recommended by an associate of his (soon realizing that was his buddy, but nonetheless, he was a good C.P.A.).

So here’s the rest of the story. We were buying a home last fall and the bank (very picky nowadays) wanted a note from our C.P.A. saying my pension (I’m retired) would continue until 2016—as it will. I called my tax guy and asked if he could write a letter stating that based on previous returns, it may do so. He said no, he couldn’t do that—I understood why, he does not know—no problem. He did ask which bank and who was doing the loan. A few days later, my lender got a form letter from the C.P.A. stating he was not allowed to release information regarding his clients. Didn’t matter, we got the loan and love the house.

So as scheduled this March, I go see the tax man to get the taxes done for 2009. Upon entering the office, his receptionist hands me a "contract" saying their new policy allows for billing for phone or other consultations—sign here. I read the paper and signed (laughing inside of course). When I went into his personal office, before he even greeted me, he asked if I had signed the “contract.” Now I do understand this new policy. After all, I only pay him to prepare my tax return. But I immediately questioned (in my mind of course) his tactics and lack of explaining this new policy to me.

So a month later, in the mail, I get my return to sign and mail to the I.R.S. and others. With that, was the bill for services rendered including a $50 consultation fee for 6 months earlier as well as a $50 consultation fee for the date of my tax appointment. Mind you, the real part of the bill was $525.00 for tax preparation (about $100 higher than last year). I couldn’t believe my eyes—what nerve! So I did what any frustrated, over-taxed and under patient person would do, I wrote him a letter.

“I’m a bit surprised, or maybe not, at your bold attempts at “sucking” money from your clients. Who by the way, have paid their bills, showed up to appointments on time, and faithfully recommended you to friends and family for services—not any longer.

I’m especially surprised at the tactics you used to try and get additional fees from your clients. Do you think we are all stupid? When your secretary (poor gal) hands me a “contract” to sign (right now of course, before the appointment), I’m not dumb enough that I don’t know what that’s all about. But, because the “contract” is dated with my signature, and I know you can’t legally bill me for past uninformed and useless consultation, I’ll sign, but at the point when I wrote my name on that paper, it was in question in my mind, “Do I really want to continue doing business with this guy?”

Your illegal attempts to collect “consultation” fees have failed. Not only am I not obligated to pay your fees as listed on your invoice dated 05/07/2010 (and will not), I will now take my business elsewhere; to somebody a tad more honest. Personally, I hope all your clients drop you like a hot potato; you don’t deserve their business.

Remember my first book about running a business, you should read it. It discusses the importance of honesty in business.Get some character, decency, honesty, and common sense and good luck with your future business, you’ll need it.”

Now maybe that’s a little harsh, but I am getting tired of “round-a-bout” business tactics used in our society. Are there any straight-forward, honest, or service oriented businesses around any longer? I ran a business for 15 years and I NEVER would have tried to pull this on my clients. Had he said, “I’m going to have to charge you a fee if you call me for information in the future” I probably would have kept him as my C.P.A.

Could this be one of the reasons for business failure?

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Michael J Fox - My New Hero!

While reading an interview with Michael J. Fox in the May issue of Reader’s Digest, I think I may have found my new favorite quote; check it out:

“Don’t spend a lot of time imagining the worst-case scenario. It rarely goes down as you imagine it will, and if by some fluke it does, you will have lived it twice.” Michael J. Fox

Is this for real? Did he really come up with this? I think I love this guy! This little quote, found by pure accident, could possibly change my life (and yours). I realize for every time someone says, “Don’t worry” they are basically intending the same message. But this is different. Here’s the story.

I’ve recently had this growing pain in my abdominal area. Of course I went to the doc and had some tests. Imaging showed the doc, not me, a mass in my abdomen (I will not get too specific, ahh!). After describing it to me, his following words to me were, “I don’t know what to make of this.” Of course on the outside, my demeanor showed a capable and calm lady waiting patiently for my physicians’ follow-up recommendation. A little different feeling on the inside; “Excuse me? You’re a doctor! What the hell do you mean you don’t know what to make of it???”

So off I go into nearly two weeks of “the waiting game.” And guess what happened when I finally went to the recommended Physician who might know what this is? You got it! It is of course, nothing to worry about. At least not worry to the point of losing sleep or drifting off into panic land. So basically, I lived a nightmare when I should have been living my wonderful life. Another small life lesson learned. Thank you Michael J. Fox, you’re two weeks too late this time, but I will never forget your words!

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Welcome to My Blog!

Welcome to Blog Jog Day!! So glad you stopped by. Please enjoy my Blog then jog on over to http://crossroadsexcerpts.blogspot.com/ to see another wonderful Blog!

If you would like to visit a different Blog in the jog, go to http://blogjogday.blogspot.com.

Please don't forget to leave a comment or "Follow" this Blog while you're here!

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