Is It Fair?

Saturday, June 26, 2010

I was a bit taken back recently when I, for the first (okay, maybe second) time, was made to feel insignificant as a woman, or should I say, “being a woman.” My hubby and I needed a bid on a new asphalt driveway. I found a reputable company and turned the number and information over to my spouse to handle the bid and set up. He is a great guy but does not handle much of the “house” business; he prefers golf—I understand, we’re retired. But I thought it was time he took charge of some things himself and help me out; so the call was made. After 2 weeks of waiting for a bid, I called the contractor myself to see what was the hold-up as we had a short window of opportunity to get this job done. He was not there when I phoned, so I left him a message to call me back. When he did, we weren’t home. But the message he sent was clearly for Craig and not me. Then the bid came by e-mail—again, for Craig of course. I replied to the e-mail bid with a question and he responded again to Craig. “Hello Craig,” instead of myself. Through all the e-mail transmissions I signed the mail from Carol; he addressed the response to Craig. Am I here? Do I exist? Is this the end of the unfairness? No. Read on.

So as I stated above, I handle most all of the house business. I pay all the bills (we earn the same), I set up our insurances, balance the checkbook, etc. My ol man and I have a deal which he prefers, as long as he can use his ATM for anything he wants or needs he’s happy; I handle the rest. I make the investments that keep up afloat; I even pay the kids tuitions. The hubby rarely has a need to even write a check. Frankly, I doubt he knows where or how much money we have. When I met him he had numerous bills and was regularly late on payments. Since we married nine years ago, those are all paid off and I have successfully showed him how to live well, debt-free. So, where’s the unfairness in all this? We had our credit checked this week. His credit was over 800! I thought that was awesome and assumed because I am the one who handles the money, mine should be better, right? Wrong. Because I am a woman, and ONLY because I am a woman, my credit score was lower. Fair?

Will we ever reach a point where woman is truly equal to man? To this day, a woman with the exact education, GPA, and experience WILL make less money than a man. My only wish is that someday there is equality not only between men and women, but with all of mankind. As always, your comments are welcome.



Cheryl Moore June 29, 2010 at 5:45 PM  

Wow, Carol. No. That is NOT fair! But it sounds like you have brought the family far. I'm sure blogging about it helps to get it out of your system. I understand. I write in my journals. Try not to grow tired of doing good. Keep up the good work.

--Cheryl Moore

imelda June 30, 2010 at 5:15 AM  

try to talk it out with your man, don't grow tired doing good. it is nice to be humble

Carol June 30, 2010 at 8:35 AM  

Hey Imelda, I'm not mad at MY man, I'm mad at "the man!!"

Anonymous,  June 30, 2010 at 8:04 PM  

that's odd because we have the same deal in our house. I no longer work but my husband does and I handle all the bills, banking etc.. Our bank accounts are joint but except for our mortgage our credit is separate and I have a higher credit score than he does.

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